“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.”
– Marcel Pagnol
The people and events of your past influence who you are today. This does not mean you are a product of the past; this does not mean that your life is predetermined.
As a human being, you have the faculty of volition. You have free will. This means that you have the power to decide. You have the power to use your faculty of volition to choose which parts of yourself you will use when making future decisions. Whatever you choose, whatever your decisions will be, it is based on the enormously complex concept that is best summed up as your sense of life.
The sum that is “YOU” is so complex that no one can ever describe it accurately — the only adequate description is your actual physical person. “You” is also a sum that is in constant flux. Every second that passes changes you in some way. Some of the things that are “you” can be easily identified and described. For example, your sex, height, weight, hair and eye color are objective facts that you can easily verify. But in order to fully understand who you are, we must dig deeper.
A mere description of what you do is not enough, nor is a description of your history. To simply say that you are a carpenter, that you eat fish, and that you pay your bills is not enough. To gain an understanding of who you are, we will have to find out why you do what you do.
The purpose of this chapter is to familiarize you with “you.” Who are you today? How do you look at life? What is your lifestyle? How fulfilled are you in the major areas of your life? We will later come back to this material and use it as potential alternatives.
Finally, it does not matter where we have been; what matters is where we are going. We all have unique experiences in life, and we all have empowering positive experiences and disheartening negative experiences. So be a little humble as you do this. Above all else, be sympathetic to who you are.
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Allowing Ourselves to Ask the Question
Table of Contents
I. Chapter One: Introduction to Life Planning
- About Awareness
- Alternatives: “An Answer”
- An Alternative That We Choose as The Answer – Not an Epiphany
- Balance
- Dynamic Goals Versus Static Goals
- Happiness: When Are You Happy?
- Pain
- Pleasure
- Pleasure versus Pain
- Positive Mental Attitude
- Smart Goals
- The Method
- The Model
- Volition and Determinism
- What You Want are Feelings
- Who are You?
- You Life Goals
- Your sense of Life
- Parents
- Your Parents’ Wishes and Hopes for You
- How This Book Came into Being
- The Approach of This Workbook
- The Binder is the Key
- Why the Answer Matters
- Why This Workbook
- Keep Working On It – Refine and Mitigate
III. Chapter Three: The Influence Of Generations
- Action Items
- Exercise: Other Influential People
- Exercise: Defining Moments / Turning Points
- Exercise: Defining Moments / Turning Points
- Exercise: Things That Have Given You Pain
- Exercise:Things That Have Given You Pleasure
- Family Legacy
IV. Chapter Four: Your Present
- Exercise: Describe your sense of life
- Exercise: Happiness
- Exercise: Level of Awareness
- Exercise: Philosophy
- Exercise: Role Models and People You Admire
- Exercise: The Major Areas of Your Life
- Exercise: Values
- Exercise: What Are Your Current Goals?
- Exercise: What Do You Give?
- Exercise: You are what you constantly think
- Getting and Receiving
- Giving and Contribution
- Interests
- Moving Forward
- Self-Esteem
- Your Sense Of Life
- Belief
- Believing it is Possible
- Creating Your Alternatives
- Exercise: Create the ideal day in the ideal life
- Exercise: How can I give more?
- Exercise: If I could do anything…
- Exercise: Today my father would want me to…
- Exercise: Today my mother would want me to…
- Exercise: Today some significant others would want me to…
- Exercise: Write your own obituary/legacy
- How
- How as a Process, Not as a Recipe
- Persistence
- Personal roles
- Professional roles
- Trap #1: Do something now for just a bit and then tend to the dream
- Trap #2: Acquire money first and then tend to the dream
- Trap #3: Living glamorously; being cool and hip
- Trap #4: Only do what you are good at
- Trap #5: Belief that you can change people or culture
- Trap #6: Guilt
- Trap #7: Keeping your doors open
- Trap #8: Striving for the big goal
- Trap #9: Owning everything
- Trap #10: Stacking commitments
- Trap #11: Going after the sure thing
- Trap #12: Fear of success
- Trap #13: Staying on the wrong track
- Trap #14: Not being ready to make the decision
- Trap #15: Letting a major change paralyze you
- Trap #16: Falling in love with The Question
- What
- When
- Where
- Who
- Who, Where, Why, What, How and When
- Why
VI. Chapter Six: Your Alternatives
- Alternative 1
- Alternative 1:
- Alternative 2
- Alternative 2:
- Alternative 3
- Alternative 4
- Alternative 5
- Alternative Answers to The Question
- Certainty/ Risk/ Likelihood
- Checklist
- Example:
- Execution
- Experience
- Financial
- Fulfillment
- Giving, What
- Health, How
- How
- Interests, Why
- Keep Working On It – Refine and Mitigate
- Knowledge
- List the Alternatives
- No ONE Answer
- Pain, Why
- Pleasure Why?
- Skills
- Spirituality
- The Checklist
- The cons
- The Defaullt Alternative
- The Default Alternative – Path of Least Resistance:
- The pros
- What
- What Constitutes a Good Answer?
- When
- Where
- Who
- Why?
VII. Chapter Seven: Making The Decision
- How I Made My Decision
- About The Author
- Appendix: Authors
- Coin Tossing
- Decision-Making Techniques
- Drifting Into
- Elimination
- Getting Leverage
- Important Elements in Decision-Making
- Leave it Up to Others
- Major Pain
- Make a Contract with Yourself
- Make The Decision – The Commitment To Yourself
- Measured Criteria
- Referring to a Higher Order – Faith
- Self dicipline
- Setting TWo Alternatives Up Against Each Other
- Share It
- The Decision
- The One Question
- The T-chart
- Using a committee
- Which alternative did you decide on for your life plan?