“Self-esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness.  It consists of two components: 1) self-efficacy — confidence in our ability to think, learn, choose, and make appropriate decisions; and 2) self-respect — confidence in our right to be happy; and in the belief that achievement, success, friendship, respect, love and fulfilment are appropriate to us.”
– Nathaniel Branden – definition of self-esteem

“Love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem, a response to one’s own values in the person of another. One gains a profoundly personal, selfish joy from the mere existence of the person one loves.  It is one’s own personal, selfish happiness that one seeks, earns, and derives from love.”
– Ayn Rand


Your self-esteem will determine your happiness.  Self-esteem is fundamentally about your own dialogue with yourself.  Self-esteem is not to be found in anyone or anything but yourself.  It comes from inside of you.

The path to improve your self-esteem is to cultivate yourself as a person you can love and respect.  Money, looks, plastic surgery, or success in public life will not improve your self-esteem.  Any attempt to gain self-esteem by reactions from other people is futile.

People can give you the fuel for an ego trip.  But if this ego trip is not accompanied by a growing respect for yourself as the person you are.  It will not lead to self-esteem or happiness.

Think of all the so-called successful people who are unhappy and even commit suicide.  Your self-esteem is not determined by your feelings on the catwalk or in the limelight.  It is better understood as the relationship you have with yourself when you are alone, your relationship with the person you see in the mirror.

If you can look at that person in the mirror and see him or her with respect, then that is selfesteem.

Describe your self-esteem:


Do you accept yourself for who you are?  Why or why not?


Do you accept that you have a legitimate place in the world?  Why or why not?


Do you accept that you are an individual who has the right to have a fulfilling life and to be happy?  Why or why not?

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Free Workbook: “what do you want to do with your life?”
Allowing Ourselves to Ask the Question

Table of Contents

I. Chapter One: Introduction to Life Planning

II. Chapter Two: Your Past

III. Chapter Three: The Influence Of Generations

IV. Chapter Four: Your Present

V. Chapter Five: Your Future

VI. Chapter Six: Your Alternatives

VII. Chapter Seven: Making The Decision

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