“If you want happiness for a lifetime, help the next generation.”
– Chinese Proverb
“No one man, however brilliant or well-informed, can come in one lifetime to such a fullness of understanding as to safely judge and dismiss the customs or institutions of his society, for these are the wisdom of the generations after centuries of experiment in the laboratory of history.”
– Will Durant
“Bear in mind that the wonderful things you learn in your schools are the work of many generations. All this is put in your hands as your inheritance in order that you may receive it, honor it, add to it, and one day faithfully hand it on to your children.”
– Albert Einstein
Who you are today has been influenced by several generations before you. Skeptical? Consider the following true story about a newlywed couple.
One evening before they married, the couple decided to cook steak for dinner. The bride cut the steak into three pieces and cooked the meat in three parts. When the groom asked her why she did that, she said that she did not really know; she had simply seen her mother cook steak that way.
So the groom asked his mother-in-law about it, and she did not know either; she had simply seen her mother cook steak that way. When the groom finally asked the grandmother-in-law, she told him that when she was young her family was poor and only had one small kettle for cooking. It was too small to cook the meat in one piece, so she had to slice it up and cook it in three pieces.
This is a cute story, but it has a lot of knowledge hidden in it. How many ideas do you carry in your mind that are passed down in the same manner? How many habits do you have from your parents? How many of your traits have been passed down from previous generations, perhaps from circumstances that are no longer relevant?
Habits and influences travel many generations before they are washed away. How many past generations influence us today? It is impossible to say exactly but historic texts suggest that it might travel as much as seven generations. Let’s assume that influences, sins and vices can travel seven generations.
A generation is usually about thirty years, so seven generations makes 210 years. This means we carry influences from our forefathers perhaps as long as 210 years back.
These influences can include:
• The way we slice and cook our steak.
• The words/expressions we use.
• The thoughts we hold/have.
• Our sense of life.
• What we perceive as beautiful, ugly, peaceful, or threatening.
• What we consciously seek or avoid.
• Traditions such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, etc.
• Where and what ”home” is.
• How we look at family.
The list goes on and on. We are, to a very large degree, a product of the past.
Exercise: Trace Your Roots
What influences have your ancestors passed on through the generations, both good and bad?
It is well worth the time to visit your older relatives and ask them to talk about the lives and times of your ancestors. So much of you is passed on from them. Getting to know them is getting to know yourself. How did you father’s parents influence him?
How did your mother’s parents influence her?
How far back are you influenced?
What influences did your great-grandparents pass down to their children?
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Free Workbook: “what do you want to do with your life?”
Allowing Ourselves to Ask the Question
Table of Contents
I. Chapter One: Introduction to Life Planning
- About Awareness
- Alternatives: “An Answer”
- An Alternative That We Choose as The Answer – Not an Epiphany
- Balance
- Dynamic Goals Versus Static Goals
- Happiness: When Are You Happy?
- Pain
- Pleasure
- Pleasure versus Pain
- Positive Mental Attitude
- Smart Goals
- The Method
- The Model
- Volition and Determinism
- What You Want are Feelings
- Who are You?
- You Life Goals
- Your sense of Life
- Parents
- Your Parents’ Wishes and Hopes for You
- How This Book Came into Being
- The Approach of This Workbook
- The Binder is the Key
- Why the Answer Matters
- Why This Workbook
- Keep Working On It – Refine and Mitigate
III. Chapter Three: The Influence Of Generations
- Action Items
- Exercise: Other Influential People
- Exercise: Defining Moments / Turning Points
- Exercise: Defining Moments / Turning Points
- Exercise: Things That Have Given You Pain
- Exercise:Things That Have Given You Pleasure
- Family Legacy
IV. Chapter Four: Your Present
- Exercise: Describe your sense of life
- Exercise: Happiness
- Exercise: Level of Awareness
- Exercise: Philosophy
- Exercise: Role Models and People You Admire
- Exercise: The Major Areas of Your Life
- Exercise: Values
- Exercise: What Are Your Current Goals?
- Exercise: What Do You Give?
- Exercise: You are what you constantly think
- Getting and Receiving
- Giving and Contribution
- Interests
- Moving Forward
- Self-Esteem
- Your Sense Of Life
- Belief
- Believing it is Possible
- Creating Your Alternatives
- Exercise: Create the ideal day in the ideal life
- Exercise: How can I give more?
- Exercise: If I could do anything…
- Exercise: Today my father would want me to…
- Exercise: Today my mother would want me to…
- Exercise: Today some significant others would want me to…
- Exercise: Write your own obituary/legacy
- How
- How as a Process, Not as a Recipe
- Persistence
- Personal roles
- Professional roles
- Trap #1: Do something now for just a bit and then tend to the dream
- Trap #2: Acquire money first and then tend to the dream
- Trap #3: Living glamorously; being cool and hip
- Trap #4: Only do what you are good at
- Trap #5: Belief that you can change people or culture
- Trap #6: Guilt
- Trap #7: Keeping your doors open
- Trap #8: Striving for the big goal
- Trap #9: Owning everything
- Trap #10: Stacking commitments
- Trap #11: Going after the sure thing
- Trap #12: Fear of success
- Trap #13: Staying on the wrong track
- Trap #14: Not being ready to make the decision
- Trap #15: Letting a major change paralyze you
- Trap #16: Falling in love with The Question
- What
- When
- Where
- Who
- Who, Where, Why, What, How and When
- Why
VI. Chapter Six: Your Alternatives
- Alternative 1
- Alternative 1:
- Alternative 2
- Alternative 2:
- Alternative 3
- Alternative 4
- Alternative 5
- Alternative Answers to The Question
- Certainty/ Risk/ Likelihood
- Checklist
- Example:
- Execution
- Experience
- Financial
- Fulfillment
- Giving, What
- Health, How
- How
- Interests, Why
- Keep Working On It – Refine and Mitigate
- Knowledge
- List the Alternatives
- No ONE Answer
- Pain, Why
- Pleasure Why?
- Skills
- Spirituality
- The Checklist
- The cons
- The Defaullt Alternative
- The Default Alternative – Path of Least Resistance:
- The pros
- What
- What Constitutes a Good Answer?
- When
- Where
- Who
- Why?
VII. Chapter Seven: Making The Decision
- How I Made My Decision
- Coin Tossing
- Decision-Making Techniques
- Drifting Into
- Elimination
- Getting Leverage
- Important Elements in Decision-Making
- Leave it Up to Others
- Major Pain
- Make a Contract with Yourself
- Make The Decision – The Commitment To Yourself
- Measured Criteria
- Referring to a Higher Order – Faith
- Self dicipline
- Setting TWo Alternatives Up Against Each Other
- Share It
- The Decision
- The One Question
- The T-chart
- Using a committee
- Which alternative did you decide on for your life plan?
- About The Author
- Appendix: Authors